Ah Ek’wak Ashaya
by sashicat
Summary: A chance encounter between T'Pol and Archer rekindles old feelings.


_Thank you to everyone for the kind reviews of my previous story. Again, this process of sharing ideas thru stories is fun and interesting. I hope you enjoy this one. Peace._

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T'pol walked out into the hallway of the reception hall. She sighed. After thirteen months, she still had not become accustom to these "social" gatherings. She walked up to the bar.

"Chamomile tea, please"

Taking the hot mug, she turned back to survey the scene. The dinner, speeches and formal cultural entertainment were over. It was the socializing period. A time for the delegates, dignitaries and ambassadors to mingle. The hall was divided into four main rooms. Tonight the Humans, Vulcans, Andorian and Tellerites each had a room for which they were providing the entertainment. For most species, this type of socialization seemed to improve their ability to negotiate business the next day. For Vulcans this was a strange concept. What did the sharing of food and entertainment have to do with negotiating trade agreements?

T'Pol sighed again. It was late, and she had had enough of the noise and the crowds. She scanned the hall for a quiet corner in which she could sit in. As her gaze panned around the rooms, she caught a glimpse of Jonathan Archer. He was standing with a group of Andorians. The Andorians were laughing and joking loudly. As usual, by this time in the evening they are inebriated. She noticed that even though he was smiling and laughing, there was a tension in Archer's stance. As if he too, was not quite comfortable at these diplomatic events.

T'Pol considered going over to talk to Archer. But then she would be obliged to "make polite conversation" with the Andorians. The prospect did not appeal to her. Maybe tomorrow she would contact Archer. Instead, she went out onto the balcony. The full moon was shining across the San Francisco Bay, and there was a warm breeze blowing. Out on the balcony, the noise of the gathering was muted.

T'Pol relaxed in the relative quiet. The darkness give her a sense of isolation. She should have gone over and talked to the Admiral…Jonathan. It had been four months since their last brief encounter. After the decommissioning of the Enterprise, they had spoken only a few times. Quite a contrast from their daily contact as shipmates. She sighed again. She found that she had grown "accustomed" to this daily contact.

She thought back with amusement to their first couple of years. The first day she met him she immediately disliked him. He was highly emotional and irrational. Soval was trying to help the Humans. But Archer had insisted in charging off into a very volatile situation with absolutely no knowledge of how to handle the extremely violent Klingons. He couldn't even communicate effectively with them! But during that mission, she became intrigued by him. His naive optimism, his childish delight in each new discovery, his irrational desire to "help". That was why she agreed to stay on longer.

The longer she stayed, the more he intrigued her. In fact, all the humans intrigued her. They seemed emotional and irrational and yet they managed to control their emotions at just the right level. But, there was something about Archer. It was obvious that integrity and compassion strongly guided his life. Even caused him to make, what seemed to her, illogical decisions. And always, there was an undercurrent of warm. She had found herself wanting to find out more about him.

But then, there was the Expanse. The Expanse had been very hard on him. The pressure to succeed had been enormous. Failure had not been an option. It drove him to desperate measures. The price of giving up his morality, his innocence, hurt him greatly. As the mission progressed, he became more and more withdrawn. He worked constantly. She could see that he did not sleep much. But, he would not share his burden with his friends. Instead, he pushed them away. He knew that every member of the crew felt the pressure. He knew that Trip was suffering with the loss of his sister. Archer didn't want any of his crew to have to shoulder any more than they already had. So, he took it all in on himself.

T'Pol could see these things, but she did not know what do to help him. She is Vulcan. Vulcans don't want know about each other's emotions. In typical Vulcan fashion she left him alone. Besides, she had problems of her own. She was fighting the trellium addition. The emotions were new, fascinating and troubling. And then there was Trip.

Thoughts of his death were still painful. But, after thirteen months, she could keep the pain at a manageable level. Her thoughts drifted to him. After the death of Elizabeth, the differences in their personalities seemed to be amplified. He was outgoing and sociable. He wanted to deal with his grief by being with people, talking about it. She wanted quite the opposite. She wanted to work through her emotions through meditation. She had to deal with the emotions slowly, little by little.

So their relationship slowly and quietly evolved into a close friendship. And actually, it worked out very well. This evolution allowed them to bring Archer back into the circle. The three of them became very close friends. They usually shared their meals together, and often sought each other out on their off shifts. They became so close that they could speak in just half sentences and know just what the other was thinking. This annoyed many of the crew since they had to continually ask for explanations. Yes, the three of them were very….happy.

But, her found her relationship with Archer the most satisfying. After the Expanse, Archer had become more reserved. Even though she had always found him to be more "manageable" than Trip, now he became intensely private, very much like herself. He hid his emotions from the crew. Putting on a façade of strength and determination. But, she knew better. When she looked deep into his clear, green eyes, she could see the real emotions. When he was confronted with a hostile situation she could see the anger, the determination, the frustration, the fear. But, when he found a new alien species or a new natural wonder, she could also see the delight, the excitement, the childlike sense of wonder dancing in the back of his eyes.

But mostly she had grown "accustomed" to gazing into those clear green eyes as they discussed everything from the duty roster to the Vulcan view of the afterlife. Life aboard a starship necessitated daily and frequent contact just to get the work done. But, over the years, their conversations had expanded as they found areas of common interest beyond the ship and the mission. They had found a mutual interest in music. She had shown him how to appreciate the finer points of Vulcan opera, while he had introduced her to Human jazz. She had taught him the Vulcan equivalent of chess. Inwardly, she smiled as she remembered his frustration at loosing to her for the 122nd time, straight. But, he was so stubborn that the very next day he challenged her to another game, which he also lost. Yes, she had definitely grown "accustomed" to his presence.

She must have thought that it would never end. And then it did. Ten years pasted. Starfleet decided to decommission Enterprise in favor of the newer, faster ships. Everything seemed to happen so fast. Trip, the crew, everyone was going their separate ways. She had her choice of positions. She had sought Archer's council. Somehow, she had wanted him to recommend a position in his new command. But, instead, he had recommended a more prestigious position as Special Liaison to Vulcan. And she had agreed with him. After all, it was the logical choice.

And so it happened. After his historic speech, she hardly saw him. He was inundated with demands for his time. Her new position required frequent and extended trips to Vulcan.

After a time, she realized that she not only was "accustomed" to his presence, but that she valued it. A few years ago, she wondered if she "loved" him. But, she was not sure what love was suppose to feel like. When she allowed herself, she realized that she had strong emotions for him. Emotions that could easily consume and overwhelm her, if she let them. The power of them scared her. So, she had hid them away.

Once she had considered confronting Archer with her feelings, but in the end she did not. What if he did not feel the same way for her? Would the pain of rejection cause her to leave Enterprise, just as Trip had done. That would be worst. No, she had told herself. It was better to leave things the way they were. Besides, as long as they were on Enterprise, there was no logical way to further the relationship. Starfleet would never allow it. So she neatly folded up her feelings, put them in a corner, and she firmly closed the door on them.

And now, here she was. She thought again about his strong, intelligent mind. His warm, and generous nature. She could go over and talk to him. She could confess her feelings to him.

No! No! What was she doing? By the Fires of the Forge! Had she not made up her mind a long time ago? It was obvious by their rare interactions of late, that he did not feel the same way. It is time to return to the Compound she told herself firmly.

"May I join you?"

T'Pol started at the sound of Archer's deep voice. Surak's ghost! He was the last person she wanted to see now. She was upset by her inner conflict, and now, how was she suppose to regain her self control with him standing there!

Archer sensed her annoyance. "I didn't mean to disturb you Ambassador," he said formally, "Good evening." He bowed his head slightly, and turned to leave.

Archer had finally found a way to break off from the Andorians. He ducked out onto the balcony to hide from the crowds. Damn, how he hated these diplomatic gatherings. He unbuttoned his collar as the warm breeze ruffled his hair. He looked at the moonlight reflecting off of the ocean. Smiling, he remembered that during the Academy, he had stayed up many times, almost all night, out on a beach just like this, looking up at the stars. Dreaming of flying among them. Wondering what marvels he would discover.

He looked up at the stars. The view reminded him of Enterprise. His mood turned to melancholy as he thought of his ship and his crew. The night after his speech, he had snuck back on board. He walked through most of the halls, just remembering. He smiled again as he thought of the countless hours he had spent in his ready room with Trip and T'Pol.

Trip. The smile turned to pain. Shit! He missed his friend! Trip probably would have enjoyed these parties. Archer could just imagine Trip getting drunk and starting a poker game with the Tellerites. Archer looked out at the beach again, remembering their years together planet side, before Enterprise. Whenever they got together, Trip would do most of the talking. This suited Archer just fine. Archer enjoyed just listening to his friend chatter excitedly about the latest engineering advancement. Maybe it was because it reminded Archer a little of his father.

OK, enough. Archer took a deep breath, and then pushed the pain aside. Enough for one night.

The balcony circled the whole building, so Archer decided to walk along the balcony until he could find the exit. Rounding a corner, he saw a Vulcan standing a few feet away. He paused. It was dark and he could not make out who it was. It was a woman judging by the cut of the robes. Not feeling like talking anymore, Archer wondered if he could get by her without being noticed. The woman turned slightly so that the moonlight shimmered on her robes. Then the woman turn a little more, and Archer realized it was T'Pol.

The beauty of the scene struck Archer. The robe moved gently in the sea breeze. The material had an iridescent quality that seemed to glow in the moonlight. The hood of the robe gave T'Pol a mystical air, like she was an elf or a sorcerer. Not wanting to disturb the moment, Archer paused to admire her delicate features. She was very graceful, even for a Vulcan.

Here was another person he missed. Prior to Enterprise, Archer could not have imagined becoming such close friends with a Vulcan. During the first mission he had sensed that she was different than other Vulcans. His instincts told him to hang onto her, so he had asked her to stay longer. The longer she stayed, the more he came to depend on her. Not only on her council, but also on her friendship. All those hours, all those years he had spent with her. He had taken them for granted.

In the past few months he had found himself missing her more and more. A few times in the past, thoughts of a deeper relationship had crossed his mind. But after their mission in the Expanse, he was not sure how she would react. As the mission progressed he became more and more ashamed of his actions. By the end, he could hardly look her in the eye. Had he not reacted just as the Vulcans had predicted? Had he not exhibited all the worst qualities that the Vulcans had abhorred? No wonder she had chosen Trip. Even after all these years, he was not sure how she felt the mission. How she truly felt about him.

Besides, the chain of command always stood in the way. Starfleet would not condone a relationship with a subordinate. And he was not willing to give up Enterprise. And why did he have to? He had Enterprise, and he had T'Pol. Until now.

Why did he tell her to take the Liaison position? Because he had little to offer her. A position as a junior aid? A friend who was a certified workaholic? It was the best choice for her career, and for her he told himself firmly.

Seeing T'Pol again in the moonlight, Archer had a strong desire to talk to her. But he hesitated. Of late, her replies to his correspondence had been short and formal. With all the time she had been spending on Vulcan, he wondered if she no longer enjoyed the company of Humans. The familiar curve of her face gave him courage.

"May I join you?" he asked hesitantly.

A casual observer would have seen nothing but the usual Vulcan mask, devoid of emotion. But Archer had known her for years. He could immediately see that she was annoyed. Disappointment washed over him. He was right. She did not feel the same way about him.

"I didn't mean to disturb you Ambassador," he said formally, "Good evening." He bowed his head slightly, and turned to leave.

T'Pol saw the disappointment in his eyes. He does want to talk to me, she thought. Impulsively, she reached her hand to his forearm. "Admiral!" she said. Wait, don't go, she thought to herself.

Archer looked down at her hand on his arm. He was surprised that she had actually touched him.

T'Pol let her shields down just a little. She let essence of his personality wash over her, enveloping her like a favorite old blanket. She found that she missed him.

"It…it is agreeable to see you," said T'Pol.

Archer looked up into her eyes, and felt encouraged.

"It is agreeable to see you," he answered.

She was close to him now. The hood of her robe framed her face in an iridescent halo. Their eyes met for a long moment, not knowing what to say next.

" Ah ek'wak ashaya," he said quietly.

"I beg your pardon?" T'Pol started. He had just said "My eternal love" in Vulcan.

"Ah ek'wak ashay. The wedding song from the Vulcan opera, T'Penna eh Silek," he said. "That is what they are playing."

It took a moment for T'Pol to focus her attention on the music drifting out from the room. The lyrics seem to hang out in the night.

_I can feel the magic floating in the air. __Being with you gets me that way,_

"You remember," she said, touched that he was also able to say the name in Vulcan. His warm, generous nature radiated up her arm.

_I watch the sunlight dance across your face,_

She saw the starlight reflected in his clear green eyes. Tilting her head slightly, "I thought you found that opera indecipherable and annoying?" She said as she raised her left eyebrow meaningfully.

_The whole world just fades away,_

Archer smiled and relaxed. This was the closest she came to teasing him. "I do." He took a step closer to her. His nostrils flared as the familiar sent of Vulcan incense drifted to him on the breeze.

_The only thing I hear is the beating of your heart._

"But there are parts, such as this one, that are….not so annoying," he said. Her hand had not left his arm. God, he missed her.

_In a way I know my heart is waking up,_

T'Pol also relaxed as they fell into the old familiar pattern of conversation. The dress uniform suited his lean, muscular frame. There was no harm in talking to him, she told herself. At least, not for a little while….

_Isn't that the way love's suppose to be._

In a quiet corner of the hall, Soval slowly sipped his root beer. This human beverage had a quirky taste that he had come to appreciate. He watched as Archer stepped closer to T'Pol. He let a small amount of satisfaction creep into his mind.

"I understand that you asked Archer to meet with you here tonight to discuss the Andorian situation." Soval turned at the sound of his wife's voice. She had stepped up beside him, and was looking out onto the balcony.

"You are correct," said Soval.

"I also understand it was you that invited T'Pol to this gathering," she said.

"Again, you are correct," said Soval.

She folded her hands in front of her and looked at her husband. "It is the foolish flag that thinks it can direct the wind."

"Yet, even the mighty t'saval tree requires the help of the wind to sow its seeds," Soval countered.

She raised an eyebrow at him meaningfully. "So, you are a horticulturist, now?" Soval's wife asked.

Soval did not answer. Instead he took another sip of his drink, and looked back out at the balcony.

"You have spent too much time on Earth. You are starting to pick up human traits," she scolded. But he could tell she was pleased.

"It is late and it is time to go back to the Compound, Husband." She held up two fingers to him. "Let the wind decide if a tree will blossom."

Soval was pleased that she approved. He met her fingers with his two, and bowed his head slightly towards her. "As you wish, Wife." They turned and left the reception hall, together.

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_I know the ending is similar to another story posted here. I swear that I thought of this ending, and this story before I read the other one. Great minds think a like. Please consider the similarity a compliment._

_Thank you to everyone for choosing to read this story. Peace._


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